The Unfriend Zone

November 29, 2013 | kirin

The shitty thing about dating your best friend is losing your best friend when things don’t work out.  The reasons for not working out could be many – timing, compatibility, wanting different things in life – sometimes the reason might be clear cut and other times, not so much.

A lot of complicated feelings arise when dealing with an ex who was at one time your best friend. One of the saddest parts about a heartbreak is that is you are not sure whether you even have a position in the other persons’ life… chances are you don’t and you respect that.

You miss having them in your life, but there’s nothing you can really do about it. Drawing from my own experience as well as from the experience of others, you come to understand that you might miss that person in your life … but the person you are missing may no longer be the same person you once knew. What I mean by this very long and possibly grammatically incorrect sentence is that time and experiences change a person. (  http://funkanatomy.com/articles/what-is-love/ and http://funkanatomy.com/articles/people/)

There’s a lot that is written and said about losing loves and going through heart break and falling in love.. but what about that part in between? When you’ve healed from your past relationship and you properly understand why you couldn’t work as a couple and hence don’t hold on to the hope that you will both be together again. You feel happy for them when something great happens in their life and sad for them when something terrible happens and even though you want to be there to help celebrate the happiness and offer support in times of sadness, you can’t because you are “the ex.” Maybe it’s because you just haven’t been around in their lives enough or because of the ambiguous position you have in their lives.

When you love someone, they make themselves a comfy place in your heart … be it a platonic friend or someone you have feelings for. When circumstances decide your time is up, they take with them a piece of your heart. Time goes by and you everyone gets on with their respective lives and you deal with not having the person in your life but no amount of time can change the fact that you still miss them.