December 13, 2012 | kirin
Photograph: Kirin Vas. Model: Leo Vas.With ten days to go till Christmas, Leo decided to enroll himself in Rudolf’s Flight school for a crash course in flying and sleigh – pulling. I don’t think it’s the best idea, but I’m not going to squash his dreams! (He also said he wants to be a sniffer dog… but I’m pretty sure he meant official cookie eater.) I attached a device to his head which would translate his thoughts into type… while i tried to take his picture before he headed out to school this morning… here’s the transcript.
Oh boy oh boy oh BOY!
It’s my first day of school! I’m SOOOOOOO excited! This is better than that day when no one was looking and I stole five pieces of fried fish off the counter! NO! This is better than that day when dad took me for a drive! NO! This is better than that day when I snuck out at night and went exploring the colony! I’’m just so… WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?… oh it was nothing. I thought it was a cat. They suck. There’s this one cat which comes and eats my food when I’m not looking… and there’s another which thinks it can sing but he sounds like he’s dying. Maybe it’s a she.. you can never tell. They’re ALL evil anyw….
Photograph: Kirin Vas. Model: Leo Vas
OHMYGOSH! EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG EEEEEEEEGG!!!! A HARD BOILED EGG!!! I LOVE HARDBOILEDEGGS! I love eggs of any kind. I like the one where it’s all crispy on the edges and goooooooey in the middle. I like the one which smells like cheese too! That’s like TWO of my favourite things in ONE! I think I have a superpower. If I stare at a person long enough, I can bend their will and make them give me food. Wait. What’s happening? Why is she not giving me the EGG!!! I WANT THE EGG!!! Why is she pointing that stupid black thing at me which makes the clicky noises?!?!?! GIVE ME THE EGGGGG!!!!! OHgoshohgoshohgosh! SHE gave me some… WHY ISN’T SHE GIVING ME IT ALL AT ONCE!!?!?!? I NEED to get to flying school. Does she not understand I only have TEN days to learn how to FLY and GUIDE a SLIEGH?!?!? SANTA depends on me. I have also enrolled for a sniffer dog course.. I will sniff all the Cookies and things the kids lay out for santa. I have decided to sacrifice my life for Santa – by testing the cookies for poison. I will lay down my life because without Santa there is no Christmas. I like the crunch in the cookies. My favourite are the chocolate ones. I love chocolate. If I die by poisoned cookie, I think I would have died a hero’s death! OHMYGOSH SHE GAVE ME MORE EGG!!!! WHYYYYYYYYY WONT SHE GIVE ME THE WHOLE THING?!?!?WHYYYY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SUCH A HUMAN?!?!?!?!? I HAVE TEETH. I CAN BREAK IT INTO PIECES MYSE…